Do you ever feel like you're not seeing things clearly and wish you could take a step back? Oftentimes we can't see what's really going on in our lives because we've been staring too closely and we're too much a part of it. The best way to see if you're getting what you deserve, if you're being treated right, or if you're making the right decisions is to look at things from a different perspective. Imagine your friend is dealing with the things you're working on and tell yourself what you would say to them. The advice we need to hear is the advice we give to others.
1. Perspective can show you the truth.
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
2. It's up to you to believe what is the most honest.
"Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is perspective, not the truth."
3. People can't hide who they are forever.
"I gave you $10, he gave you $20. You felt that he was better just because he gave you more. But he had $200 dollars, and all I had was $10."
4. It all depends on how you look at it and what you allow yourself to see.
"If you look at what you have in life, you'll always have more. If you look at what you don't have in life, you'll never have enough."
In reality, things just happen. Whether it’s a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ thing is just personal perceptions. With that, what happens to you is not really what makes you happy or unhappy; it’s your perceptions that guide your emotions and moods.
You can focus on the negative side of things, or find a positive side to focus on instead. You can turn just about any negative situation around and make it a positive.
LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE
It sounds cliché, but it’s true. Not everything is a blessing in disguise, but few things are so bad you can’t find a bright side.
Instead of thinking, “These student loans are too much; it‘s going to be too hard to pay them off,” try thinking, “It will be challenging, but once they’re paid I will have peace of mind. Thank good those loans were there for me to get an education.”
You can focus on the negative side of things, or find a positive side to focus on instead. You can turn just about any negative situation around and make it a positive.
Another example of negative thinking is, “(sigh) My car is making that funny sound, which means it‘s going to break down and I‘m going to miss work. This isn‘t fair.” To turn it positive, try, “It’s good my car warns me with a knocking sound before it breaks down.
It gives me time to get it to the shop before the problem gets out of control. I also have time to try to get the money together to fix it and make other plans for getting to work in case I’m car-less for a few days.”
The negative attitude just drags you down; learning to put a positive spin on any situation makes you realize that it’s only one problem, not life crumbling down. It also helps you realize you have more control over the direction you take when problems strike.
STOP EXTREME THINKING
Extreme thinking is a habit that forms when we use words like ‘always’ or ‘never‘.. It’s usually dishonest-- things aren’t ‘always’ going wrong for you; you’re just focusing on the wrong things. It’s not that your spouse is ‘never’ listening, you just overlook the times he is listening and focus on when he’s failing to listen.
When you convince yourself of such extremes, it’s hard not to feel miserable. It’s as though the universe itself and all of its inhabitants are conspiring against you. Get rid of the extreme thoughts. Try, “Sometimes things go wrong; it’s just one of those times I have to roll with the punches,” or, “Honey, I know sometimes you listen, but right now I feel as though you’re not giving me your full attention.”
DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
Don’t take every negative thing as a moral failing. Always strive to do your best; but if you don’t meet a deadline, don’t beat yourself up over it. As long as you did your best, all you can do is move on.
Circumstances may have gotten in your way, or you may have made a mistake in planning your timeline, but it does not reflect on who you are or what you’re able to accomplish.
If you can’t sell your manuscript or artwork, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad writer or artist; it means you still need to work on it, to keep seeking markets, or maybe you still need to hone your skills. If someone treats you poorly, it’s not because you deserve it; it’s because the person in question behaved badly.
Just like negative thought patterns are a habit, so are positive thought patterns. If you learn to change your perspective on things, you will not have a perfect life in which nothing goes wrong; but you will find yourself happier and more accepting of the problems, because your focus will be on all the good things.
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